How a 90-Day Trip Turned Into a Baby, a Marriage, and a Swiss Visa
We had originally planned to spend just two months in Switzerland before heading off elsewhere and so I entered the Schengen Area on a tourist visa that was only valid for 90 days,.
But somewhere between deciding to come and arriving, everything changed: we found out Nicole was pregnant. Suddenly, our casual trip became not so casual. After we decided to have the baby in Switzerland we were left with another decision to make.
The Fork in the Road: Two Options
Option 1: Go Back to the U.S. and Apply for a Long-Term Visa
On paper, this sounded straightforward, but in reality, it was a maze of red tape, paperwork, and indefinite timelines. Here’s what it would have meant:
Fly back to the U.S.
Start the visa process from scratch
Schedule an appointment at one of a handful of embassies (New York, San Fran, LA, Chicago, DC or Atlanta)
Gather endless financial records, submit forms
Wait 🕝
Hope the paperwork reached the right people and went through
Wait some more…
Meanwhile, we’d be stuck in limbo. Likely in Wisconsin, living with my parents, look for temporary jobs and constantly check my inbox for visa updates and praying we wouldn’t run out of time or money. Since Nicole was pregnant, we’d also need to:
Navigate the U.S. healthcare system
Get temporary insurance
Find an OB-GYN willing to take on a new patient mid-pregnancy
Keep up with prenatal care
Build a temporary life… just to do it all again once we got back to Switzerland
If we’d gone that route, it would’ve looked something like this:
“How to Stay in Switzerland Long-Term” (via: the front door)
Option 2: Enter Through the Side Door
💍 Get married.
A route that looked more like:
“How to Stay in Switzerland Long-Term” (via the back door)
We got married.
Nicole was the real MVP. She handled everything, except the few things I physically had to do myself, which she still walked me through:
“Matt, sign here… initial there…”
The only parts she didn't do were the ones that required me to show up in person, like getting fingerprinted or making appearances at the U.S. Embassy. She’d already gone through the U.S. immigration process herself and knew the system inside and out. She had the patience, experience, and mental stamina to navigate it all without missing a beat.
I, on the other hand, just tried to be a well-trained dog, go where I was told, when I was told and do what I was told to do. That was my job: follow Nicole’s lead. She handled all the logistical nightmares with grace and efficiency, from filling out endless forms, coordinating appointments and obtaining health insurance.
More Logistics
On top of immigration, we were also facing a housing shuffle. Our current place was a two-month sublet, so we had to scramble for another short-term lease, meaning more emails, phone calls and the occasional viewing.
It felt like every time we took a step forward, the “destination” took a step back. Like chasing a magnet that keeps repelling you.
And then there was the money.
Neither of us were working. The U.S. dollar was about 20% weaker than the Swiss Franc. Every time we transferred money, we lost a chunk of it.
Sent $5,000 to pay rent? Boom—$1,000 gone.
With a baby on the way and no income in sight, we tightened our belts hard. No trips. No splurges. Just survival mode. We stuck around Bern and kept things small.
Life in Limbo
All the while, lurking in the background, was this constant state of uncertainty, a quiet pressure that never really let up.
Would I be allowed to stay? Would this all work out?
We were living in limbo. Every plan we made had an asterisk next to it, a silent if attached to it.
What I Wish I Knew Then
We let uncertainty freeze us when we could’ve danced through it. I wish we’d worn that uncertainty more boldly and just kept moving.
Final Thoughts
This whole chapter has been overwhelming. Still is. Emotional. Raw. Uncertain.
But looking back, it also brought us closer. It tested our patience, our trust, and our ability to commit, both to each other and to the lives we’re trying to build.
If you’re an expat considering staying in Switzerland long-term, especially under unexpected circumstances, know this:
It’s possible.
Just brace for the ride.
And get yourself a Nicole.
“How to Stay in Switzerland Long-Term” (via: the front door)